February 2012
10 posts
Moon History 101: The Oscar Apocalypse
Children of the moon, today we’re going to learn about the day human civilization on earth ended. It was February 26th, 2012 and the people of earth had settled in to watch a celebration of a form of entertainment called movies. Little did they know that the Mayan God Quetzalcoatl decided to usher in a new cycle of life on that very day.
Some people predicted Quetzalcoatl would take the...
Watchjonbershad:
thekindlymidwesterner:
Just a little something our SFX wiz Joe Pioggia put together …
Not to turn an appreciation of something cool into a lame plug, but that video essay reminds me just how excited I am for TKM to come out. Anna and I wrote some crazy shit in those scripts and the insanely talented crew is actually making them come to life.
So, so excited.
This looks so...
kellyqehudson:
kellysingsong:
In this next...
January 2012
8 posts
Urban Explorerer: I FOUND ICE CUBES 'GOOD DAY' →
murkavenue:
CLUE 1: “went to short dogs house, they was watching Yo MTV RAPS”
Yo MTV RAPS first aired: Aug 6th 1988
CLUE 2:
Ice Cubes single “today was a good day” released on: Feb 23 1993
CLUE 3: ”The Lakers beat the Super Sonics”
Dates between Yo MTV Raps air date AUGUST 6 1988…
Wow. I am impressed.
DEAR EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER DONE A TED TALK: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP I WANT TO BE AN IRRATIONAL, MISERABLE HUMAN BEING WHO MAKES TERRIBLE CHOICES BECAUSE LIFE IS MEANINGLESS AND YES IT IS MY DEAD MOTHER’S BIRTHDAY WHY DO YOU ASK LOVE SARAH
December 2011
6 posts
Kassia and I started a fashion blog! Check it... →
Crunchy smoothie.
If you don’t mind smoothies with a bit of crunch, you should make what I just made. T’was dope. A little like drinking a chocolate chip ice cream sundae for breakfast.
1 cup milk
1 tsp raw almond butter
1/2 cup frozen bananas
shake in some raw cacao nibs
shake in some shredded coconut
dash of cinnamon
Raw cacao nibs are my new jam. I love my chocolate dark (85% Green &...
November 2011
6 posts
Watchhealywu:
streeter:
joshruben:
The newest installment in my “VHS” series with Mitch Magee! Produced by Steve, shot by Vince, directed by Mitch, edited by Kelly, make-up by Hana. And that’s me in the fat suit. Shocker.
I love this so much
Basically if Mitch Magee is involved with a project, I am going to like it.
I. LOVE. THIS.
Ann Beattie's 7 Truths About Writers
scribnerbooks:
7. Writers wear atrocious clothes when writing. So terrible that I have been asked, by the UPS man, “Are you all right?”
—from the New Yorker’s Book Bench blog to mark the publication of her new book, Mrs. Nixon
When I get home I put on my writing sweater, which is warm and wool and rarely dry-cleaned. Then my favorite pair of yoga pants. Then a pair of wool socks and Ugg...
There’s this story about me my dad loves to tell. Apparently, when I was a couple of years old, I would memorize all the books he would read to me, and so one time when my grandfather came over, they tricked him into thinking I could read. We were talking about this the other day when something occured to me. “Wait, so I memorized the entire book? Isn’t that, um, kind of...
October 2011
16 posts
I was just watching a comedy video and assumed the video that popped up in the window afterward “Porn stars talk about their fantasies” was also a comedy video and that the game would be that they were all into cuddling while listening to a Prairie Home Companion. But it was not a comedy video and I have learned a lot today.
Generation Lebowski
After reading this, this, and this, I was so confused. Which generation am I a member of? Like a millennial, I’m convinced that I am a very special person who deserves to succeed. Like a Gen Xer, I’m kind of lazy and I like flannel and I hate the man. Like a member of the Catalano generation, I once wanted to fuck Jordan Catalano.
But none of these generations is really me, you know?...
This show! Yes, this one! Wednesday night! Yes,... →
Three questions:
Can I tell you how excited I am about this show?
Can I tell you how beautiful you are?
Can I tell you a secret?
Three answers:
Yes!
Yes, if you come to the show.
Yes, if you like to assist in the destruction of secrets.
Check out this line-up!
The show is free and has a full bar.
Come!
A hungry ghost no more...
I am not a very domestic person. For my first few years in New York, I ate canned soup and frozen veggie burgers and sandwiches from delis. I would eat cereal straight out of the box until the contents of said box (usually some bullshit like Kashi) were gone. And still I would be hungry. I was kind of vegan, kind of fat, always cold, always hungry. Always. I think it’s safe to say I did some...
The Salad in the Pants Theory of Acting →
NY Times book critic Dwight Garner was asking for some public speaking advice on Twitter earlier today. Comedy nerds know the best advice comes from improv guru Del Close. (Or, quite possibly, from actor John Brent.)
Here’s the legend, as recounted in Kim “Howard” Johnson’s book on Del, The Funniest One in the Room.
Taking Elaine May’s advice that an actor should...
By pulling my hair back with a barrette, the 70s key party mom appearance diminishes somewhat, but is veering dangerously into “mom who looks like she’d be married to Tim the Toolman Taylor” territory.
I don’t want to think about what would happen if Mrs. Tim the Toolman Taylor and Tim the Toolman Taylor went to a key party. Probably Mrs. Tim the Toolman Taylor would see...
The worst thing about my haircut is that it is entirely my fault and not the fault of my wonderful stylist who had to deal with this request: “Well, I sort of want to cut it all off, but I also sort of want a lot of curl and volume.”
To continue the key party analogy, this is like if Barry and I knew we had to do something to spice up out love life and what I really wanted was either...
My new haircut makes me look like a mom at a key party whose key everyone purposely avoided, leaving her with the responsibility of cleaning up after everyone and crying into her 7&7 while she wonders if her husband Barry is going all the way with that cunt Midge Cafferty.
I do not like my new haircut.
It is possible that I do a vigorous form of yoga 5-6 days a week so that I can one day reach oneness with the universe. It is possible I do it so I can eat a jar of almond butter a week without gaining weight.
It is also possible that the ability to eat a jar of almond butter a week without gaining weight is my version of oneness with the universe.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/13/fashion/makeup-ma... →
A study paid for by Procter and Gamble discovered that women wearing make-up were deemed more competent. In other news, a study paid for by Charlie Sheen discovered that dating Charlie Sheen makes women appear more competent.
Empathy Test →
jeffscherer:
andeventhis:
12minds:
sharlala:
adapadapa:
adriofthedead:
dong-cassette:
vanyumm:
0 - 32 = low (most people with Asperger Syndrome or high-functioning autism score about 20) 33 - 52 = average (most women score about 47 and most men score about 42) 53 - 63 is above average 64 - 80 is very high 80 is maximum
33
oh.
22
B^U
24
Ah.
56.
Which I suppose is why...
Concord grapes taste like grapes that Ferran Adria did something cool to.
September 2011
3 posts
My marriage is one of the 50% of marriages that...
I was mad at the Whitney “50% of marriages end in sweatpants” ad, but for reasons entirely unrelated to anyone else’s. I was mad because MARRIAGE-RELATED SWEATPANTS JOKES ARE MINE, dammit. MINE.
When I was moving in with my husband, I asked him if there were any cohabitation pet peeves I should know about—Would he, for instance, be annoyed by a wife who insists on leaving the kitchen light on...
Adam Bozarth Enjoys the Internet: A Sitcom Looks... →
mymotherwasright:
frankhejl:
chamberlain:
adambozarth:
I know this is not going to be a popular opinion, but I have to get this off my chest.
I don’t get this backlash against Whitney Cummings’ show “Whitney.”
Sure, the ads are glib and rather generic looking. Seems like any number of sitcoms about a married couple. So what if there are other shows about married couples? You think “The...
August 2011
2 posts
From a list of reasons I was glad a particular boy...
19. he said Wu-Tang was trash